Have you ever had a fear that was so deeply imbedded into you that it wouldn’t allow you to do what you wanted or enjoyed to do? Then keep reading to see how I’m learning to overcome my deepest and darkest fear. I have put my foot down and refuse to let my fear keep me from doing what all homesteaders do…….GARDENING.
I started out this morning by weeding a little more of the garden area. I am going with the “No Till” method this year and let me tell you…..pulling weeds by hand is no picnic especially with all the “spit” stuff on grass and ants. I am seriously terrified of ants because when I was young I literally had ants in my pants for real. When I was about 2 years old I was blueberry picking with my parents and I stood on top of a red ant hill. I was welts from waist down by the time my parents got my clothes off me and got rid of all the ants from my body. To this day there are times where if I get an ant on me I strip my clothes off as I’m running and screaming into the house. The fear and terror is real but I’m learning to overcome this.
My very large garden area but so far just this little corner has been weeded and planted. So far all I have planted are several onions that are growing beautifully.
As I said above, my fear of ants is one reason my garden has not been fully weeded. In this little area I have uncovered several small ant nests. I am learning how to slowly over come my complete terror of those things. When I find a nest or hill I just get out of the way and move to another area of the garden to work until they have all disappeared out of that area. Some days I just leave the garden but go back the next day and continue working.
My love of gardening has become stronger and I think I just decided I want to garden regardless but it is very HARD to overcome a fear this strong but I’m doing it.
When I see ants I feel my skin crawl and for a second I panic but I remember they are not on me. I can get away away before they get on me. I always, several times, a minute look down to see if there is a hill or several near me and if not I stay put. The more I look down the easier gardening is becoming and I have NEVER found myself standing on a hill. The ONLY area I find them in is when I over turn a rock or sometimes get a bunch of roots I see them scramble out. I have noticed I don’t check the ground as often anymore either. I get so into gardening my mind relaxes. I remind myself that I haven’t been bit except that one time years and years ago. I have actually done counselling as well for this fear but I will say I don’t think it did any good. I do better with dealing on my own. This gets easier to deal with every time I go into the garden.
For those of you who have fears like this please know you’re not alone and you can overcome them to enjoy what you want to do.
I HATE the way my house looks and I am remodeling the entire house but I’m starting with the living room. I purchased Tongue and Grove wood and currently I have 7 rows done on the ceiling as of today. I plan on doing the entire ceiling and the walls in this same wood. Yes it’s very expensive but I saved up all of my Covid check money while I was unemployed knowing I wanted to remodel the house. Now that I’m working full time again I figured it was time to start the project.
I’m using beautiful Pine wood and I can’t wait until this is completed because I know how beautiful this is going to be. I feel like it’s going at a snail’s pace and want to speed it up but I know things like this take time to do it right.
I want my house to have a true cabin feel which is why I’m going with wood. Eventually I will add a wood stove too.
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